WEEKLY SCHEDULER

The run-down of this week's happenings. Released Wednesday mornings. Available 24/7 right here.

/////////here's what's happening here, this week and beyond

/////////LIKE ONLINE SHOPPING BUT FOR YOUR SOCIAL CALENDAR /// & BETTER, DOING THINGS WITH OTHER PEOPLE

/////////updated weekly

Wednesday December 7th

Live laugh wine

  • Create your own wreath for your house, plus enjoy wine tasting from Vitis Wine! Because what better way to one up your friends after they say ‘wow nice wreath’ you can say ‘I made it myself!’ (6:30pm)
  • Pizza and wine tasting! Try a selection of natural wines, staff favorites, and some holiday special selections. Plus chat with producers about low intervention farming practices! Much fancier than eating you &pizza with a glass of boxed wine! (6pm)

La Noche De Las Velitas

It’s the night of the little candles! For the first time, La Cosecha will line 4th St NE with paper lanterns and candles in keeping with Colombia’s holiday tradition! There will also be hot chocolates and treats from the Michelin-starred restaurant. Speaking of, did anyone else know the tire guy and the guy that gives little stars to restaurants are the same? (5pm)

  • Also in holiday traditions: Duke Ellington’s swing version of the Nutcracker Suite. (9pm)

Also || tunes: 101nderland, comedy: Bad Medicine holiday show, profs and pints, Hirshhorn art takl, La Noche de las Velitas, tunes: Jason Nazary, tunes: Jazz Orchestra, birding in a winter wonderland, evening with photog Devin Allen, the National Mall beyond granite, talk: Pearl Harbor

Thursday December 8th

Live laugh learn

  • DC is well-known for a lot of things: the gov, that one shirt, khaki. But one thing that’s often overlooked is our city’s role as a STAR. Join author Mike Channing and DCPL’s Southeast Library hear how the movies view “Hollywood on the Potomac.” (6:30pm)
  • Speaking of stars: see a chamber trio from the Kennedy Center Opera House Orchestra perform to benefit Miriam's Kitchen. (7pm
  • Move over, Mitochondria Is the Powerhouse of the Cell. It’s Minerals Are Earth’s Ultimate Time Capsules’ time to shine. This Carnegie Institute lecture is your chance to explore planetary evolution! (6:30pm)

Make your own ornament

It’s like fifth grade all over again, when you glued your photo to a piece of cardboard and gave it to your mom for christmas! Sort of self-aggrandizing but it’s fine! Now you can do it all again, joining this class to create cute felt ornaments with beads and jewelry. (5pm)

  • When you’re done, head next door to Songbyrd for the DMV Music Alliance benefit concert! (6pm)

Also || Remembering Mike Davis, talk: Maya Lin,Dacha Holiday Market, tunes: Lighting Bolt, hotel holiday walk, happy holigays, capitol hill jazz concert, whiskey and fine spirits festival, Glow Flow in Georgetown, poetry: Rita Dove

Friday December 9th 

Live laugh tunes

  • Indie Rock band The Greeting Committee will be playing at Black Cat! Their songs “Hands Down” and “Beginning Middle End” make me feel like dancing down the street holding my girlfriend's hand. (7:30pm)
  • Savage Ga$p: This alternative hip-hop artist has hits like “Pumpkins Scream in the Dead of Night” and “E-Girls Are Ruining My Life” (shades of “big-boob anime babes, they make you think the wrong thing”; (7pm)
  • Top it off with the gay men’s choir of DC holiday show! With songs like “Underneath the Christmas Tree” and “sleigh ride” more like SLAY ride. (8pm)

Also || Magical Musical Holiday Step Show, Takoma Park Gift(ing) Market, Georgetown Glow Market, indie rock dance party, Bushwick Book Club

Saturday December 10th

Dance of the sugarplum theyry

Join CultureDC for a modern twist on the original Nutcracker – with diversity of characters, elevated female-lead roles, gender-neutral dance partnering. Okay, but if they’re revamping modern scenes they better not cut out the giant rats dancing! Rats dancing is a must. (4pm)

Soft Opening! It’s like a soft launch, but for a restaurant!

Come to Petworths social bar & grill soft opening! A full menu of southern / Cajun cuisine plus delicious drinks! Plus if you attend the soft opening you can tell all your friends “ya I saw them when they first opened” (4pm)

Also || tunes: Bonny Light Horseman, tunes: Yungmanny, Shopkeepers holiday market, workshop to support Black trans people, Joy of Christmas, make your own wreath, Art Enables Holiday Market, Cleveland Park holiday market, Woodley Park holiday market, Celtic Christmas music, Van Ness pop-up market, frontin’, Georgetown cookie tour

Sunday December 11th

Tis the season of holiday markets

  • Shop one-of-a-kind artisan products from Mount Pleasant’s own artists and makers, plus local business specials and discounts. (11am-5pm)
  • Park View hosts their last market ever! Walk don’t run to Hook Hall (4-7pm)
  • If you’re fancy, the Four Seasons has its own setup with “bespoke installation” created in honor of Children’s National Hospital patients. (12-7pm)

From old Italian men watching construction to Howard Theater

The person behind the Twitter account bringing you sometimes silly, sometimes tender ephemera from our favorite crowdsourced database of all human knowledge is putting on a live show at Union Stage. (7pm)

Also || speed dating, YMTE turns 14, champagne/comedy/drag, art at Rhizome, talk about Jermaine Dupri, talk: Krampus

Monday 12th

Wake up with Wallace!

Hello friends, it’s your fav gecko Wallace! I had a long week last week, got some sand stuck in my eye but i’m doing better and now have new substrate for my tank. Gotta keep my loyal fans updated. To celebrate and to prepare for the holidays I’m going out on the town:

  • First I go to see Men I Trust at the Lincoln Theater. Their ethereal sound makes me feel high – the only drug i’ve ever done is the calcium coat that my mill worms are dipped in – and the only man I trust? The guy that sells me crickets. (8pm)
  • I just learned there’s a world outside my terrarium? That threw me for a loop. Then to top it off, I learned there’s space and other planets? And I’m like on another planet is there also a gecko writing a local newsletter? Anyway, to celebrate I go to the astronomy happy hour to chat with local astronomers about space! (and get a beer to face how big our universe is. (7:30pm

Also || tunes: The Lemonheads, trivia mondays, yoga and beer, holiday cocktail classes, talk: Slavic solstice magic

Tuesday December 13th

Drink! For a good cause! 

Join Lyman’s tavern for their mutual aid party/toy drive/ugly sweater contest! It’s like That’s So Suite life of Hannah Montana crossover episode — for a good cause! All DC Brau sales + 10% of everything else will go directly back to the Ward 1 community! (6pm)

Foals! Not the mini horses!

British rock band Foals will be performing at the Anthem. Go have a pint and dance your arse off, innit! (We will be making British jokes until we get a reader email like oy guvna this is insensitive me grandad was pip pipp cheerio’d to death it’s a very serious issue.”) (8pm)

Also || songbyrd music trivia, FeeldWorld

DECEMBER

12/14: Darren Criss, Wild Honey Pie Holiday Dinner Party, LOLidays, Garbagefest, Sixth & I holiday donation drive

12/15: tunes: Slothrust, talk: race, toxicity & rise of youth activism in Baltimore, art talk: changing ideas of kinship, tunes: the Brother Brothers, climbing doc

12/16: tunes: Horse Jumper of Love, Prince & Beyonce dance party, tunes: Hotline TNT, dark holiday comedy, dance/music at Rhizome

12/17: tunes: Austin Larkin, tunes: Dave Heumann, tunes: oh He Dead, candlelight Christmas with Washington Chorus, Eckington Place Holidaze, comedy karaoke, comedy for communities DR benefit, holiday market, creating a visual mythology, South Asian creators, Brookland Art Walk “Last Minute Market”, “Procrastinator’s Market” at Rhode Island Ave, Anacostia Arts Holiday Market

12/18: tunes: Oddisee & Good Compny, holiday market, Red Bear Holiday Market

12/19: Lobbying DC Council at Chanukah, talk: Dickens invented Christmas

12/20: Kogod Courtyard holiday sip and shop, Queen’s English holiday market

12/21: Talk: Robert Frost’s winter poems, unsilent night

12/21-22: tunes: Thievery Corporation 

12/22: jam session

12/23: Festivus comedy festival

12/26: comedy shuffle

12/31: tunes: Rare Essence + Trouble Funk, Black Cat NYE, tunes: Parliament/Funkadelic

JANUARY

⅕: DC Improv, bilingual music

⅙: comedy at Saloon

1/7: improvised music

⅛: Tunes at Rhizome

1/11: talk: women’s uprisings in Iran

1/14: tunes: Atomic Light Orchestra

1/15: Paris Sashay comedy brunch

1/19: not another D&D podcast

1/22: MLK Day of Action

1/23: sip and craft

1/27: tunes: Greensky Bluegrass

1/29: urban sketching

1/31: tunes: Dry Cleaning, tunes: Suki Waterhouse, art talk: Black portraiture in history, creative writing & portraiture

FEBRUARY

⅔: tunes: NSO: Dvorak 7, tunes: MJ Lenderman

2/4: talk: Pete Holmes

2/9: talk: protest music and gender

2/10: creative writing & Maya Lin

2/13: tunes: Julia Wolf

2/14: Story District: Worst Date Ever, Valentine improv

2/23: tunes: Kimbra

2/24: tunes: Junior Boys

2/25: tunes: Yelle, GloRilla

MARCH

3/1: tunes: Dandy Warhols

3/3: tunes: Os Mutantes

3/10: tunes: Betty Who

3/12: make your own face cream

3/15: tunes: New Found Glory acoustic

3/19: Rachmaninov, Tennyson, Poe, tunes: Yo La Tengo, comedy: Kasaun Wilson

3/28: tunes: Ari Lennox

APRIL

4/3: tunes: Lewis Capaldi

4/4: tunes: Titus Andronicus

4/29: Hump! Film Festival

MAY

5/2: tunes: Placebo

5/14: modern classical: Hailstork & Obama

5/16: Beetlejuice

JUNE

6/27: tunes: Shania Twain

SEPTEMBER

9/7: tunes: Arctic Monkeys


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